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    The Hope

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    Contact 360-510-3715
    ivoirejk@gmail.com
    Added 2019-05-17 18:51:37
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    Description

    Most people get the word 'Hope' with positive feeling.

    People who went through severe experience and have lost hope could never see 'Hope' as positive word. Some will never feel what is feeling the hope anymore just like me. Some cases, having hope can even consume you. 

    I've been painting for long time in my life, but this painting is my second painting since my brother died in front of me. My brother drowned after suffering in very cold water for 2 hours. Every single minute felt like an hour and I was in agony because I was the one who asked him to get out in the bay with my kayak and have experience. He is my only brother, only sibling, only family in this country. He is very very important person to me. As soon as I knew he fell, I wanted to jump in the water and swim to him countless times but there was big change that I won't make it and nobody will figure out what happened. We were about a mile away from each other but I could feel how much my brother wanted my help but I couldn't do anything. Only thing I could do is keep my eyes on him because he was getting further every second. I was keep guiding where the coastguard should go and hope the coastguards save him as soon as possible. But the coastguards took too long. I prayed so hard even I'm not a religious person.

    Helicopter crew from the coastguard finally found him. The station called me and said he is alive and okay. They asked me to pick him up from the local airport which was about 10-15 mins away. I was so relieved until I went to the airport and realized that it was a miscommunication between helicopter and station. He was too far from being okay.

    He was moved to the emergency room right away and I tried my best to stay focus on what is happening. I knew losing myself at the moment won't help anyone. The doctors told me that he is young and healthy so they may be able to revive him. I stayed next to him the whole time hoping they will revive him. I was keep talking to him and tried my best to support him. But he couldn't wake up. It's all my fault. 

    I'm still living in hell every single day and I have many mental issues due to PTSD.

    I have amnesia which they said it is normal at this level of PTSD and I honestly don't have much memory about how this painting was completed. The red ribbon means flesh and blood. The blue ribbon means soul. He has many arms because the desire to save what he is losing. He wants to grab it but he cannot. His eyes aren't working properly anymore and he can't really see what's happening, why is it happening. He is losing his wing and he can't fly anymore. His body is fading away and falling apart. He is losing himself and he probably still don't know that there is no recovery from this. But I think he still hoping.

    Specific details

    Name of Artist: Jungha Kang
    Width (inches): 68
    Height (inches): 29
    Media: Oil
    Country: United States
    Style or Genre of Painting: Abstract / Expressionism

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